2010年12月13日星期一

The distance from love to love - father

10 years old

Father is the kind of man, unless taciturn drank wine.
She remembered from 10 years old, she began to hate him. When my father had too much to drink wine, ruthlessly play mother, she and her brother in lookinging at a young heart, finely woven MiMiDe full of hatred, into the body of every pore.
Father in the village is director of the village committee, in ordinary citizens, greatly small eyes will be a officer. But in her eyes, she read many books are not, know that there is higher level of leadership, know that there is much bigger than father of officer. So, she despises his father in the village manner, others a little matter, he will NaJiaZi and said, ah, it's a matter of principle, it is a party spirit problem. She wrote in his diary: my father is a what also don't understand of committee director, I hate him.
Father alcohol, the village people often have bagatelle, always called father used to help. This kind of thing he still more enthusiastic. After drinking father, often and then sit together, red eyes reasoned. She can't understand, but having a bit she knows, it is a very unpleasant activities.
Father also please village size leadership to have dinner at home, mother and busy busy nonlocal minister. She kan buguan, those who are those who feel faintly to destroy her life, let her write no homework, look not in books.
She thought, after be brought up, oneself never do father like that.
So, the infant she was learned to bicker, learned glib to fight back. As time passes, formed the habit, whenever the father said, she would try reason why not, say to my father speechless. At that time, he will ruthlessly stare she, say: "see my hit you." She'll restively raise head and see his eyes, but always in 34 seconds after -- father's eyes lost inside, she can't see through things, there is also a frightening authority.
Neighbors say to the father: "you this girl was so bad, will be reasonable." Father ruthlessly say: "BuChengCai of things, can answer back."
She secretly hear and feel more sad. She is more hate him.

18

She in the city high school school, every week or two weeks go home again.
Father is still in the village committee director in the village to do, each time I went home, you can see he accompanied the countryside cadres to drink. This kind of situation, often let she wandered in disgust. She'd rather sit hovels absorbed in thought, is not willing to see the house scenes and father a bit flattering smile.
She was more love dearly mother, this small woman, never is his father's vassal, not talking loudly, opinions.
At that time, her heart faint will think of his own future, oneself never like my mother, looking for such a man, In order to a slight, please the person meals. Gas way, took his family to blow off steam, Outside, is always a pair of good shape.
Hence, Sunday, she excuse study favour not home, except no living expenses, to get home again, but she is open to mother. For the father, she rarely speak. Father seldom to one thing and said she. If the mother is not at home, she went out to find excuses, classmate home, avoid and father alone together.
Sometimes, the father in town for official business, also can see her to her school. He in the porter's lodge there waiting for, the along while of the work, with the porter's lodge always can chat with old doorkeeper. She slowly from the classroom out, to walk there, light say: "come? Dad."
His father will return overdo come to see her in his eyes, no kind, just flatly answer 1, go back and continue with the old man chat some words tail. After just turned around and said to her: "your mama said" let me to look at you, everything ok?"
What is his mother, and mother and judges. Father came, I'm afraid QianDingNing million charged to just mother it. She remembered after her mother every time when I come home, all in his doorway to her to the direction of the mind a acid, looks, eyes some wet.
"That you study well." My father's words or very simple, in whom is no this daughter, she thought. See him pedal the car, then enthusiastically greets with old man, see her one eye and went away.
Sometimes, the father will take some money to her, saying is mother to bring her, she was more grateful mother. She wrote in his diary: my father is a bit hypocritical.
After receiving admission notice, she showed her mother look, mother had will hand wipe and wipe, and notice to their father look. She noticed that his father face change, for him, is probably a symbol of success, at least deserves to take showing off again. She faintly feel, father's mouth a bit shake, said a sentence: "really."
She doesn't understand the meaning of father in the words. The next few days, the father will folks get together please to have a meal, neighbors say again: "you see you for the girl really accomplished." She expected her father can say a few words of kua her words, but he just laughed two sound. She was a little disappointed.
Go, my father sent her to the city by bus. In the bus, he said to her, "don't talk much, to train local immediately after the call, your niang miss you."
She fetched bite lips, daughter is niang treasured flesh and blood, how can you don't want to?

27
After graduation from the university, she stayed in town, in a small company work. Boyfriend is another city, university students.
When he got married, her father insisted that the man from home, she was a little angry wedding. Boyfriend home not dignitaries as their agents, also looking for, laptimes run nearly 200 kilometers distances, she tried to consult with his father, but a little negotiable nor. Father is conservative, believe consistent tradition, his daughter's house, will marry from home.
She said impassability father, had consulted with her boyfriend, the man home pour also generous, male friend say: "just to spend more money just."
Marriage that day, she would have heard his father woke up, reception folks. She hid in the house, have the village before little sister come in, laughing and joking, beaming with her in a small room soon beheath apart. Wait until she get on the bus, but fail to see my father, mother will her into the car, she cried tears as well. On the car, she quietly asked sat in the car's brother: "the za dad?"Christian Louboutin
Brother answer surprised her, he said: "go back the za dad, I see him wipes a tear walked."
Her heart in a acid, father never before her dropped tears.
According to the custom of the village, the bride on the car, are no longer allowed to get off. She felt sad, but didn't get off the bus. When the village, far away, she saw out back, father crouched there, shape is very thin, reached into his face, seem to be wiped a in wipe tears. She was a bit sore, but soon, the car trip, pack the figure falls away.
Newly married life very happy. Home day after all is small. Each time to call in the home, pick up the telephone always mother. Sometimes, mother will call father, said: "the kid phone, you take it."
Father took the telephone, both sides tend to have a second or two of silence, this silence is awkward. Father always said that two sentence: "ok? Life?" She say: "good here." Listen to father more and more old voice, she often feel very sad.
In their spare time, she wrote in his diary father is old, I grew up. Still remember oneself once hate him, but each time saw him again many a white-haired, they can not help but think, which the root is due to the absence of missing daughter and turned white?

32

Brother also went to college, the home of tian less and less. Stage, father called and said to the city to look at her and little grandson.
Her husband is on a business trip, a person at home. Originally agreed in the morning of car, but by noon, father hasn't come. She will put neighbor's child, go to the station to meet his father. Just go to the station, heard a taxi knocked down a countryman. She flung startled, desperately to the crash site run past, tears welled out involuntarily, crying run there, and I saw is surrounded by a group of people, her desperate to squeeze into the crowd. Taxi before sat a countryman, is in there with driver bargaining.
See she cried and pushing forward and the driver and blinking are shocked. She cried and cried and laughed. All see her jokes, said: "this woman how?" She did not, extrusion crowd, just to see a side of the father.Christian Louboutin Boots
"Dad, what's wrong with you? Are you okay?" She wiped the tears on his face.
Father laughs some embarrassed, for every hand gift said: "turn all morning, can't recall what to buy gifts, also don't know little grandson like it." Watching my father hand greatly small many packets, she smiled and said: "dad, you still use to buy what gift?" Heart very sour, look a bit stiffen the father smiled, she couldn't help but think crying gave him a hug.
Went to the street, sunshine from behind according to come over. When to rise, father's waist also become rickets up? Father carefully hidden side of car, but looked at her eyes, mouth say: "carefully, you see, you how don't walk the car?" She said: "not afraid car city, like hillbilly not afraid dog as well."Christian louboutin Black
Father smiled, out of the corner of wrinkles in the instant twist became the rope.
His father saw little grandson, also like a child, have little grandson arms in closer and closer, said: "the grandpa loved you most, only hurts you one." In the eyes of love, like to spill the same.
She has some LengZheng, past events such as dust as spread: remember in childhood, father is also such embrace her in her arms, said love her by belt beard next bazaar her face... She felt sad, of all past, remind of mother to her nagging said father get up in the middle of that dream is bad, must mother call her, he always embarrassed dozen come over. Mother said to her: "you dad miss you, but always pushing me."
Tears then fell down, and she excuse to cook dinner, ran to the kitchen. Where the meters, tears but e-shop.if dozingand flow. At night, she wrote in his diary: from love to love distance, is suddenly is that his father, or that never says exports of care.

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